Teenage girls don’t often open up to their parents about who’s dating who and who is allegedly having sexual relations. You might ask questions but are likely to be met with rolling eyes and a bedroom door slammed in your face. You might think they don’t want to talk about it but if they’ve brought up the subject, whether with you or within earshot, it might be their way of letting you know that they do want to talk about it.
Conversations about sex are never easy and straightforward and your daughter will already have some ideas about the subject. It’s hard for girls to see movies, TV stars, adverts and magazines without thinking that being sexy is desirable. Here are some useful tips for having ‘that’ conversation:
- Ignore the tutting and rolling eyes
Many kids cite their mothers as their main source of sex education, so you have an important opportunity to lead your daughters to the path of good sense and staying healthy. There is never likely to be the perfect time to sit down and talk, so use everyday opportunities to introduce the topic. Perhaps there’s a storyline in a movie you’re watching or a friend of hers has posted something on social media – ask her how she feels about it. She will most likely reject these approaches initially, but it’s a lifelong conversation so keep trying.
- Think of your own feelings before broaching the subject
There is no doubt that sex can be a loaded topic. If you have confused or negative feelings about your past or current sex life, try to deal with these before talking to your daughter. It won’t be helpful if you appear angry, upset or scared when you talk about sex.
- Prepare her for peer pressure
Peer pressure can manifest in many ways and might not always be a boy on the back seat of a car! It could be a best friend or other kids in her class. It might be coming from your daughter, who is desperate to fit in and thinks everyone else is having sex. If this is the case, she might be pushing herself and her boyfriend into something too soon.
Help to put her mind at ease with some facts, like only a small percentage of high school students report having had sex and that her friends could well be exaggerating. The truth is, most teens are not having sex. Talk about the importance of staying safe from sexually transmitted infections. For information on Home STI kits London, visit Bexley Sexual Health.
- Increasing independence with guidelines
As your daughter grows and gains independence in some areas of life, when it comes to dating and sex, you should stay involved and set some guidelines. Don’t allow too much unsupervised time between your daughter and her boyfriend and don’t allow her to date anyone more than two years her senior.
Finding out your daughter is sexually active isn’t the end
Many parents give up when they find out their daughter is sexually active. However, this is exactly the time when they need you most. You still have much to do to help her emotional and physical health. Find out if she’s using birth control and condoms. If not, encourage her to talk to a professional about how to keep herself safe from sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. Consider Home STI kits London for peace of mind. Ask her how she is emotionally. How has sex changed her relationship? Do they treat each other with respect and love? She needs to know you’re still there for her.