Having children is a wonderful experience, which fills us with many moments of joy and love. But also, it is something that tests many things in us, such as our patience, energy and strength. If we have a support network, a couple or close relatives, the physical and mental burden of raising children can be reduced. But when you are alone, things are not so simple. I share a reflection about how difficult it can be to be a single mother.
It is no secret that although becoming a mother is something very beautiful, it can also be very hard. First, we go through a total transformation of mind and body, to later be responsible for a baby that depends completely on us.
And while we are adapting to our new routine with him, at the same time we are recovering ourselves from that great transformation, recognizing our new body and saying goodbye to the person we used to be before becoming a mother.
Then, we went through those first years in which we put all our attention and time into the care of our children, to make sure that they do not need anything, and that their development takes place in a healthy way and as best as possible.
And with the passage of days, weeks, months and years, little by little we wear out, trying to keep in the air and safe all those important and essential pieces that we are juggling: family, home, work, us.
When we live as a couple, we share the responsibility, dividing the load and working as a team so that everything works as best we can. But when we are alone, for whatever reason, things are not so simple.
Loneliness and lack of support, the reality of many mothers who are alone
When a mother grows up alone and is the only one in charge, the situation can become very difficult when everything falls into one person, although it is true that there are single or divorced mothers who do not have a partner to support them, and despite that they are superbly.
As we have seen in some studies, raising alone does not influence the academic performance or development of the children, and they grow just as happy as if they did in a home where there are two parents, but in the case of some single mothers, Pressure and stress can reach very crippling levels.
An example of this is the issue of family expenses, since having a single income, economic problems can be present. When this happens, they may feel desperate for them, especially when they do not have an environment that supports them.
But in addition to the economic problems, they also encounter the mental burden and physical exertion, which can cause us to suffer from burnout or even fall to some depression. Therefore, it is very important that we remember that despite feeling alone, we are not.
Not everything is bad, but it is important to seek and give support
With all this I do not mean that being a single mother is something terrible or that everything is negative, because the reality is that although it can be very heavy, not everything is fatigue and sacrifice and motherhood also gives daily moments of happiness.
However, I think it is important to highlight two things we can do to prevent this from happening. The first is that if we know a mother who is raising alone, let’s get close and let her know that she worries us, that she is not alone and that she can count on us.
And the second, and this I say from my experience as a divorced mother, is that we do not fear asking for help as mothers. A single mother cannot do everything. I know it’s easier said than done, but let’s look for a support network, be it family or friends, to not feel so alone in this adventure called maternity.