How to decide when you’re ready for sex

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It doesn’t matter if you’ve not had sex before or you’re considering sex in a new relationship, you should always think before you act to make sure you’re ready. How do we know if it’s a good time emotionally to have sex? Consider the timing, your state of mind and importantly, the person who you’ll be having sex with. Of course, things don’t always go to plan but it’s important to ask yourself some serious questions before you make that decision. So, how can you tell you’re ready:

The right partner is crucial

Having someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe is the most important factor. You’ll know the time is right when it ties in with your values, goals, emotional and physical needs. When you feel you completely trust your partner, they make you feel comfortable and empowered to make that decision. This is when you know that sex will be fun, enjoyable and pleasurable.

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Because you want to

Don’t ever act because you feel you must to keep the other person happy. This is a decision about you. If you want to and you desire it, then have sex because you want to have sex. You must feel confident that this is what you really want.

If you can’t speak about safe sex, then you’re not ready

A good way to tell if you’re ready for that next level intimacy is if you can openly talk about safe sex and STIs. You must feel able to ask about previous sexual history, STIs and how you’d both handle a surprise, unplanned pregnancy. So, these topics are passion killers but try to have them at a time when you’re not about to get romantic but in the cold, light of day. If you cannot discuss these things or don’t know the answers to anything of these things, then you’re not ready. For STI testing London, visit checkurself.org.uk/plus/

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Do you feel pressured?

You should never ever feel pressured into having sex. You can say no at any time. Only you can know in your heart whether you’re ready or not to have sex, so trust your intuition.

You feel desire

Without desire, you are probably not acting of your own free will. You can’t force or fake desire, and if you are, then you’re not making a good decision. Desire is natural and healthy in sustaining a relationship and if you’re both feeling desire for one another in a relationship, then you probably feel increasingly comfortable about taking that further step into intimacy.

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